Dear me,
It’s time to think… to hear my thoughts. To pause. To realize… I have been unhappy for so long that, I thought that is what a little bit of happiness looked like. I let loneliness define who I loved and gave myself to. I forgot how to laugh.
I let go of my will to think that I deserved the world, that I deserved everything… loosing a child changes you. I am not the same person I was. I may seem the same. I may laugh. I may talk. I may eat. I may wake up in the morning. But inside. Inside my heart is on its knees grovelling with pain. I did not plan my pain. I did not choose it. So I argued with God. I almost hated Him. Why. Three letters I never knew I could use so much… It’s time for a purge. Purge the things and people that don’t want me in their lives anymore. I have been chasing you long enough. So I stop. And love me first. Heal. Feel something again. I have to learn who I am now that part of me left when I buried him… it’s time for a purge. Purge everything and everyone that does not make sense to me anymore…
signed,
Me
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Grief Poetry 
This is actually really painful to read but that’s because it resonates so much for me too. You’re a great writer.
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Thank you Jeanaehj, there are moments you are okay then there are moments you are not. It’s a daily struggl and you find yourself realizing things and making decisions for yourself and not anyone else
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Absolutely. I’ve intentionally learned how to be more selfish just because it’s what I need to heal at times. Cutting out the unnecessary is one way I’m doing that and it’s all ok.
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