Sometimes I hate

Sometimes I hate my life
Hate how things are always unfair
How I can never catch a break
There are days I want to not exist, be a breath in the wind
If I never existed anymore

Would someone think of me?
Would they remember me?
Did I even matter to anyone?
What if it all ended?
The world in an apocalyptic moment?
Will the world remember me?
Do they even know my pain?
When did it stop being worth it?
When did it burn just to breath?
When was it okay to not smile at all?
I wonder
Really, has life ever had meaning?
What is the meaning of life?
Sometimes I momentarily like my life
But then I remember you are not in it
And I’m back to hating my life
Maybe someday I will be okay
Maybe someday your memories will not haunt me
Maybe I might even smile just because
But until then
I don’t like my life without you in it